macular degeneration, macular, diagnosis rides – My Macular Degeneration Journey/Journal

Special Favors

This evening I am staying home. It is normally a Zumba night. Did I want to go? Absolutely! Still I turned down a ride. Why? Because she would have had to make a special trip to get me.

I am really struggling with this. Every fiber of my being wanted to go to class. My ride volunteered, but she was already at the gym and would have had to leave, pick me up and go back there. So I turned her down.

Some people don’t have a problem with asking for and taking special favors. My ride home from school is a club advisor. Tonight we took a student home. Five miles in the wrong direction. Wasn’t the first time. My friend felt used. I don’t want people to feel used.

So where is the line between a doable favor and a burden? Where is the line over which people feel used? I looked online and found page after page of sites telling you how not to be used. How about a site that tells you what is an acceptable request and what is going over the line? How about a site that tells you how not to be a user?

With rides I try very hard to make sure they are going my way to begin with. My usual rides home from school both live within a mile of our house. To me that is not excessive. Is it?

I try not to lean on any, one person too much. My maximum burden for anyone is three trips a week. Most of those three times include a there and back combination. Is that too much?

Where is the etiquette book on this????? Etiquette says to do as much as you can to ease the burden. I try. I am always ready on time. I wait at the bottom of the driveway. It says to consider your task and the person you are asking. How is that match? Usually good because they are going to the same place.

I am thinking I need something a whole lot firmer than what I have. People are fantastic and I want them to keep being fantastic. Yes, there is self-interest here, but I also want them to not be inconvenienced either. Neither of those things will happen if I over use people or take advantage of their generosity.

‘Tis a dilemma, so I am throwing it out for discussion. What is too big of a favor? When should you not ask? When should you refuse an offer? What are the rules on this???????? Continue reading “Special Favors”

News: August 30-31, 2016