macular degeneration, macular, diagnosis Cats and Dogs – My Macular Degeneration Journey/Journal

Cats and Dogs

Cleaned a bathroom, vacuumed, wrote a few checks, worked on cleaning the pool, even reviewed my lesson plan for Wednesday. How much work do you want from an old lady? Especially on a weekend. Besides, weekends are when I really get my page ideas. I inundate Lin. Drives her crazy. [Lin here: sometimes she does but that’s OK.]

Anyway, I have misplaced the cord to my reader. This page, therefore, starts out on a cautionary note. Do not do that!!!! I miss the dang thing terribly. I think the cord is at the office. A friend is coming to take me to ‘killer’ yoga and she promised to run me around to look for it. Keeping my fingers crossed.

The lesson learned? If you cannot be organized, buy spares. I am going to have to see if I can get a replacement cord. Maybe two.

Be a Boy Scout and be prepared.

Moving on, I saw a Reader’s Digest article on forgiveness. The lead paragraph said apes forgive. Cats don’t. I found that not to be surprising given that apes are highly social and cooperative. Not so much cats.

You know the old saying: “dogs have masters. Cats have servants.”

Anyway, way off the reservation again. When I saw the title of their article I started to think about self forgiveness. I would suspect if you are anything like me, you get disgusted with yourself. The reader is missing its cord. I paid the gas company the wrong amount. Zeros look like sixes; right? Jeez, Sue. Get it together.

I ask for ‘negative’ feedback. Crazy maybe but true. I feel I need to know where the problems have been cropping up. Cannot fix it if you don’t know it is broken. I don’t let people help me carry my stuff.

I am the one who developed this crap. My stuff. My burden.

I have fielded my share of funny looks. People want to help. Why do I want to struggle and be a martyr? I am supposed to stop being so hard on myself.

Easier said than done but they do have a point. According to Timothy A. Pychyl writing for Psychology Today, “the steps to self forgiveness are to acknowledge you did something wrong, experience guilt and overcome these feelings.”

OK. First off, I am probably the only person I know who actually believes I did something ‘wrong’ by developing macular degeneration. I would not criticize someone for developing cancer and having subsequent problems. What makes me so damn special I can never have a problem?  Time to get out of the Supergirl cape.

Feel the guilt? Been there. Did that. Got the T-shirt. But baseless guilt? Probably. See above.

Last point is to “overcome the feeling.” Well, ya know what I said about easier said than done?

Pychyl had nothing to say about it. Prevention magazine suggests not wallowing. Penance not required. Move on. Don’t draw other people into your stuff. It is your nonsense.  Don’t burden them with your Superman/Martyr routine.

Michaud, the woman writing the Prevention article, also said you might try 12 different things: categorize the offense, articulate the offense and how you feel, understand what you want, recognize your unrealistic expectations, identify the hurt, “hit the stop button”,  apologize, practice positive emotion refocusing, make amends, stop telling the story in which you are the villain, put things in perspective and give yourself a break.

Lin is super with putting in links and I am imaging there is blue lettering in the paragraphs above. Follow the links.

Cut yourself a break. AMD – not your fault. Not mine either.

Next: There Must be a Pony Somewhere

HOME