One of the DBT skills is cope ahead. In DBT cope ahead you imagine yourself in a situation that you expect will elicit an emotional reaction. You then mentally rehearse and see yourself having an appropriate reaction to that situation. Good skill but not the type of coping ahead I did today.
Today I was doing more of the cope ahead that my BVS counselor had in mind. Devise a plan. Gather information. Maybe do a dry run.
My husband and I needed to go to a town very near the town in which my third job is located. I want to go back to that job. It is good money for one thing. The problem, as I mentioned before, is this job is 45 miles away.
There would be a little ‘stress’ if I made my husband do that drive twice in a day a couple of times a week most of the summer. We needed to do some creative thinking to make this come about.
Today we took time and did a reconnaissance mission. I went into the lobby of a chain motel in the town. The place has not been renovated in a while but it looked clean. The price was better than I had anticipated. So far things looked promising.
Clocking the distance from the motel to the office, we discovered I could walk the distance easily. There was a sidewalk for most of the way.
If I needed to take the bus, there was a bus stop about a quarter mile away. That was going in to the office. Coming back the bus stop was on the other side of the highway. Problem there because I am not crossing streets well. I would have to either walk back in the evening or get a ride from a colleague. That would be something I needed to prepare for.
Another problem was there is no restaurant at this motel. The food places are on the other side of the highway. I will have to eat at a restaurant as soon as I get out of work or pick up something at the convenience market to eat later.
A lot of planning. A lot of planning that was not necessary six months ago. Six months ago I got in the car and I just drove there. Not as easy now, but it can be done. Just a matter of coping ahead.
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