Genetic Rant & Roll – The Miniseries: Part 2

Yesterday I threw a mini pity party for myself. This is a long road. It is a marathon and not a sprint. It should not be considered unusual to ‘hit the wall’.  It happens once in a while.

School was in full holiday mode, but I had reports with deadlines during the break. A true professional gets things done. On time. I stuck with it.  Then the people who were going to take me into the city bailed on me. Too much to do in too short a time.

I had been holding it together. Thinking about getting out of this one-horse town even for one day. Once I lost my opportunity, I started ‘jonesing’ for a change of scenery bad. Real bad. I also had a few words to think about inconsiderate people who get going blind old ladies’ hopes up and then renege. I was in high dudgeon!

Then, my dears, the pièce de résistance for the whole, lousy day. I got my genetic profile back from Arctic. Eight pairs of high risk genes, five pairs of moderate risk genes and two ‘good’ pairs.

Really???? I got dealt THAT bad a hand? My percentile rank was 97. I ‘beat out’ 97 out of every 100 people in the crappy eye genes category. Yippee. I ‘won’.

Lin literally, and I mean direct quote, looked at my results and typed “I’m sorry you have such shitty genes.” Friends can say things like that. Especially when it is true. [Lin here: And when friends don’t know what else to say.]

Maybe we should put that on a greeting card. With all the genetic testing that is soon to go on there is going to be a need for shitty genes sympathy cards. Maybe we can sell the idea to Hallmark.

Anyway, now I know why I am 63 and have the eyes of an 83-year-old. Crappy eye genes. REALLY crappy eye genes.

I have my consultation on the results early next week. See if I can understand any more about it.

But that is next week; the more pressing question for this page was how not to let my disappointments get me too far down. Circling right around again, I decided to use some – ready for it? – mindfulness! (Told you it’s a panacea.)

A big part of mindfulness is staying in the moment. The missed trip was going to be in the future. My graph looked to me as if I would be pretty much ‘completely’ blind in seven years. [Lin/Linda here: we’ll talk more about this later.] In the future. At the time I was mulling over all these negative thoughts, I was fine. If I cannot control what will happen in the future, why worry about it and ruin the now?

So I pushed it away (DBT alert!), went to yoga, then came home and listened to an audiobook. Sacrificing the now to worry about a questionable future does not make a lot of sense. Seven years from now I may have had stem cell infusions and my crappy eye genes are no longer relevant. New RPEs and I am ready for my next 63 years.

Early next week I get to talk to Arctic about my results. I will try to analyze some of the data myself between now and then.

In the meantime for you? When you hit the wall, bounce. Remember it is normal but also remember most of what we worry about isn’t even here and now. Enjoy the present. The future will sort itself out.

Next: Genetic Rant & Roll – The Miniseries: Part 3

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