Life Isn’t Fair

In case you have not noticed, I have a great life. I was at a concert on Sunday and my husband took me to ski on Monday. That was the second time for the season. Sometimes I wonder how I merit a life as ‘charmed’ as the one I have. I look at people who are no less deserving than I am and they are having awful problems. There but for the grace of God go I.

Therefore I feel a bit spoiled and ungrateful when I get resentful. It is always the little things, too, and that makes me feel more guilty. I am dealing with NOTHING compared to others. Why am I so pissed off?

Today I was at a conference. I was the first one there and the last one to leave. I had gotten transportation and was dependent upon their schedule.

Sitting alone and waiting, I got resentful. Why do I have to be the only one left? Why can’t I just get in my car and go?

The online dictionary gives the definition of resentment as “bitter indignation at being treated unfairly”. Hmmmm. How many times have I told someone life is not fair but here I am. I am entertaining an emotion based on exactly that expectation! Life is so much fun when your own words come back and bite you in the butt!

Why should I be exempt from the vagrancies of fate? As much as I like to think I am special, I am not (probably 😈). God makes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust, etc, etc. Expecting special treatment is unrealistic.

Still do it, though. Probably should stop it. Being resentful is not going to change my situation. I cannot drive. I would kill someone. It is what it is and I need to accept that.

Being angry about what cannot be changed just makes you and everyone else miserable.

Besides, waiting a little longer was not THAT big a deal. I got to go to the conference. My goal was to get continuing education credits and I did that. I was effective in that respect.

The real problem probably wasn’t being the last one left there. Truth of the matter may be the resentment came from somewhere else. How about the feeling of powerlessness? Maybe feelings of being deserted?

I was not either one of those. Technically, the venue for this conference was only about four miles away from the house. I had on sensible shoes. I could have walked home! Still felt sort of powerless. Sort of deserted even if I wasn’t.

So, there you go. Even when things are going well, sometimes something reminds you that once they were better. Resent my vision loss sometimes? Hell, yes! But it won’t help. It is what it is and no, life is not fair. Get over it, girl.

Next: coming soon!

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