macular degeneration, macular, diagnosis Make the Safe Call – My Macular Degeneration Journey/Journal

Make the Safe Call

Hey. I had a real chock full day planned today and what do I do? Nothing. Pretty much nothing. Bummer.

A friend and I went for a Japanese hibachi meal last evening. About three hours later, my system revolted. I will spare you the details, but it really was a waste of what had seemed like a nice meal. After I was finished ridding myself of dinner, I slept poorly. (Wasn’t food poisoning. I KNOW how that acts. Just got a hold of something my system refused to digest).

Now, my plans for the day had me in town, navigating from one activity to another from morning to mid-afternoon. I would have been on my own. My husband was motorcycle riding with a friend.

Had it been two years ago, I would have tried it. I could have taken myself home when I needed to. Cut the day short. Now I don’t have a car. Now contingency plans like that don’t exist for me.

I thought about it. What would happen if I got sick again? Huddled in a corner somewhere until someone had pity on me? Spend 20 minutes praying I did not vomit in their car? Nothing like that seemed like a good option. They were not good options at all.

So I allowed discretion to be the better part of valor. I turned off the he alarm and went back to bed. Spent the day hanging out at home.

I like to think something like this won’t happen again but I know it will. Without the ‘escape hatch’ having your own transportation can afford, many of the marginal calls that I would have said “go for it!” before will now have to be “no”. That really is limiting. It is depressing. I do not like it at all.

So, the game plan? Keep myself as healthy as possible. Be grateful for everything I am able to get to, everything I am able to do. Beyond that I guess it just comes down to acceptance. I cannot cut it as close as I used to. I cannot make the marginal call any more. Sometimes I need to use a little discretion. Make the safe call. Damn.

written October 15th, 2017

Next: coming soon!

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