We all know adjusting to sight loss is stressful. We are well aware of the times it has freaked us out but how aware are we of the impact our loss has on those around us? How often does anyone notice the stress on family members ?
Back in 2009 – that is 8 years ago, guys. Long enough this report could be in the third grade! – there was published an article entitled Family Function and Low Vision: A Systematic Review. The authors lamented they had not had many appropriate articles to review and – guess what – I found pretty much next to nothing since then. Families of the visually impaired are being ignored!
But yet families are a huge support to those who are losing their sight. Adequate support – both practical and emotional – protects against distress and other negative health concerns. The way we stay functional and sane is by having people there for us.
The problem is sometimes family members go through all of the stages of adjustment we do. Shock, denial and mourning are not just for us. But since we are the identified clients, we (hopefully) get the services and the attention. They don’t.
Visual impairment is related to separation and divorce. (Or at least it was in 1993. THAT study is old enough to vote.) There have also been more recent studies on emotion contagion.
Yep, mi depression, su depression*. And if that is not bad enough, the spouses of the visually impaired even have worse physical well-being than controls. Jeez.
The suggestions from the authors were pretty basic: education and mental health counseling. Family members need to know about visual impairment so they know how and how much to help. Overprotection can be nearly as damaging as neglect. Mental health support is pretty self-explanatory. Find and investigate the negative belief systems and see what you can do to refute them. Provide emotional support.
In short, the fight can be as hard on the guy who holds your coat as it is on you. Family members need to know about your vision loss and be told the level of support you need. They need to have time to do things for themselves and they need someone to support them as well. None of this is easy on anybody but it is easier when we do it together.
*translation of title is “My Depression, Your Depression” as in the phrase “Mi Casa, Su Casa” which literally translated means “My House, Your House”.