When my nephews were young we would go on adventures. There were times our adventures did not go as planned. I would give them a bit of life philosophy: the art of life is often in plan B.
I am starting to understand this visually impaired nonsense is an ‘adventure’ and I need a plan B. I probably need several plan B’s ……probably a few plan C’s. Maybe even a D or two. And these plans should be for each and every situation in which I am depending on others for support.
I have been really fortunate to get a wide amount of coverage for my needs. I have one person to take me home from work, one for Monday evening exercise class, one for my Thursday activity, etc. The problem – and it is not really a problem, it is reality – is that every one of these people has a life.
They have offered to help me, not be my slaves. When you are dependent upon others, their sick kids become your problems.
So now that I have width, I am going for depth. Monday night ride’s kid has a sporting event so I called my backup ride. My ride home from work has a dentist appointment? I need to go to my backup person. People volunteer – foolish people – and I take their names and numbers with the explanation I have a regular ride but I would like to keep them in reserve. May I call you when I am stuck? People are generally fine with that.
People giving me rides are generally not going too far out of their ways. It might be a mile or two at most for them to swing around and pick me up. I try to not ask people who live too far and go for another option if I realize they live all the way across town.
I hate to ask people because I always feel as if I am putting someone out. Being an inconvenience is not a good thing. However, multiple people have assured me most of that thought is in my head, not their heads. They would not volunteer if it were a problem.
Would I do the same if the shoe were on the other foot? Maybe not, but I like to think so.
Basic courtesy is a must. I try to never have people need to wait for me. If that means stopping what needs to be done and twiddling my thumbs for five minutes, so be it. I don’t make messes in their cars or ask for extra stops. I gave out $3 chocolate bunnies at Easter. Thank you.
I also have been trying to be more – gasp – flexible. If my ride home from work has a late meeting, I plan to stay, too. If what she needs to do and I need to do conflict, I either try a backup ride or I change my plans. She is already accommodating me. She does not need to do it any more.
I am anticipating the day that none of my rides can take me. I would like to think I will be able to put on my big girl panties and cope. Probably will pout. I know me. I pout. Whine a bit. But then I need to do something more positive and productive. That might be plan G.