Summer of My Discontent

I am doing my discontent routine. I really should (uh oh should-ing on myself!?) be more content. It is hot! My kind of weather. I just got out of the pool. Pretty good. I had a busy day and I have almost mastered the new, (damnable) computerized note taking system at work. We are planning a vacation. If life is so good, what the hey is wrong with me?

Some days I am just ready to say “Been there. Done that. Own the t-shirt”. I have had my trip to the Land of the Going Blind and it is time to come back to my ‘real’ world. Joke is over guys. Not funny.

…hey, some of this is starting to sound familiar, like I wrote it before. If I did, it bears repeating because the emotions repeat. It has been time to pull the plug on this little adventure many times in the last five months. Assume you feel the same.

I wonder why I am feeling this way now. Physical and mental demands change. These can cause stress and needs for changes in coping strategies. Stress can lead to lower feelings of well-being. I took a double yoga class (transportation issue) and then went to a third one the next day. I have been fighting with the new computer system since Wednesday. These sound like physical and mental demands to me. Could these be the causes for my case of the blahs?

Folkman & Lazarus (1980) suggested coping efforts focus on altering the relationship between the person and the environment or on reducing the emotional distress. They reported the best way to react in altering the person-environment relationship is acceptance and willingness to seek guidance and make changes……do you ever feel like you are traveling in circles? This stuff sound vaguely familiar?

Conversely, strategies that don’t work very well include denial and wishful thinking. Like wanting to click my heels together three times and go ‘home’ for example? Sigh.

We have talked about an optimistic outlook and the willingness to take help before. We have also talked about the value of finding meaning in pain a la Frankl. These things help you get through.

So it is back to the drill. I need to be aware of my physical and emotional states and take care of me. Accept the situation and try to find meaning in it even if I am sick of it. I need to go back to actively finding my way.

But I do have one question. Do you think it would hurt anything to just try clicking my heels together? Maybe just once?

Written July 22, 2016

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