What Is Normal?

It is two in the morning and I am wide awake. Did something sort of dumb. I slept poorly last night so when I got home from work I fell asleep at 7….and woke up at 1 am. Crap.

Anyway, greetings from the middle of the night! Not necessarily a bad night. I have been reflecting and I am pretty pleased overall. I got four full days in at work this week. Next week is filling up nicely and looks as if it will be my first 5-day work week since February. Sort of scary but also exciting. After all, a five-day work week is ‘normal’.

Other things are getting back to ‘normal’. Some ways I am not the visually impaired lady and some ways I am totally the visually impaired lady.

About as clear as mud, huh? In some ways I am not the visually impaired lady because people are forgetting. In the past week or so people have been shoving things under my nose and saying “look at this!” Same as when I was fully sighted. Same as they would do with any other colleague. They look a little abashed when I say something like “I would love to. Let me get my reader”. They really had forgotten.

In some ways I am not the visually impaired lady because people are forgetting.

A nice little side benefit to their having forgotten? It means my work is good and I have been reassured without needing to come out and ask. People, including my boss, would not be forgetting I now have a handicap if my handicap was having a significant effect on my work.

I have totally become the visually impaired lady because the blind cracks have started! I am back to being harassed and they now have new ammunition. “I don’t know. You try to figure it out. We’ll let the blind lead the blind! Ha!” OMG.

I have totally become the visually impaired lady because the blind cracks have started!

I just remember love comes in all sorts of crazy forms. These forms include bad blind jokes.

Of course some things are not ironed out yet. I need to get on the scale and see what is happening with my weight. The first couple of months I was on the Macular Degeneration Diet. I lost six pounds because I was not able to drive myself to engage in some of my bad habits. You know, take out Chinese food, double dips of mint chocolate chip ice cream on a cone, etc.

At school there is a cafeteria and two places that will deliver if the ‘mystery meat’ from the cafeteria does not look edible. No such options at the office. Today I took a can of soup but that probably was not enough for an 8 hour day. My husband, who seems to think of food every five minutes, showed up to take me home with pizza box in hand. Food!

Yep. Doing OK. Being loved….sometimes it’s blind jokes and sometimes it’s grocery store cheese pizza.

Love comes in all sorts of crazy forms.

Next: BUDDY SYSTEM

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One thought on “What Is Normal?”

  1. Please keep writing and sharing this journal. You have no idea how much it is helping me cope with the changes i am experiencing. You are putting words to my fears – along with concrete suggestions for coping, accompanied by perhaps the most important coping skill of all: a sense of humor!! Thank you.

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