“Yes, but…”

Hey, there! The good news is I seem to be on the road to recovery! My husband says it is because I rested like he said. My exercise-addicted friend says it is because of the fresh air and exercise I got this morning – cross-country skiing at the park! – and I think it might be both of those plus the cold/sinus medication I have been taking.

Combination of the old and the new. Best of both worlds.

More good news for me is I get to teach for another 12 weeks. It has been a couple of years since I taught distress tolerance so we decided to switch it up.

The ‘little boss’ suggested it. She is getting frustrated I have been waiting so long for the clinical trial. (I can sort of understand the sentiment.) Anyway, her thought was use me while they have me. Either I might have to spend time in Philly – or I might get very blind! Good first thought. The second one…

And guess where that leads me? Yep. My topic for this page.

I have done two pages on being unmindful of problems. DBT teaches us not to ruin the moment by worrying about when a positive situation is going to end. We are not to worry about whether or not we deserve it or what will be expected in return. (Don’t worry. A side benefit of my teaching a different module is I will be reminded of different topics!)

Whenever I ask in class how many people are masters of the “Yes, but” comment, 3/4s or so of them sheepishly laugh and raise their hands.

Let me tell you something: the rest of them are lying! I don’t think I know anyone who can say he doesn’t fall into that trap.

“Yes, but” has become so common some business publications have written about it as a syndrome. Somebody suggests a solution and we shoot it down. Someone says how well something is going and we doom and gloom him about what may happen next. What is happening here?

Because they are coming at it from a business angle, the publications say it is fear of stepping out of our comfort zones that causes “yes, but” syndrome. They say people reject brainstorming ideas because they are scary. Fear of innovation or more work or some such a thing.

All very possible in that sense. But how about people just in daily life? I, of course, have a theory. Not sure it is original, probably not. I did not look it up so if you know that this is so-and-so’s theory of whatever, let me know and I will credit him.

Anyway, my theory is we are trying to let ourselves down easy. What do you think? Does that ring true? I don’t want the gut wrenching drop when this is over, so I will keep reminding myself it is coming? I will let myself down in stages.

Problem is, do we want to diminish our good times like that? Why not savor them? Drink them dry and have the positives to remember!

Sound like a plan? Yes, and…

Next: Bored, Bored, Bored

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