I have said before I like a hectic pace. I was thrilled this week because I have had five days at ‘my speed’.
To begin with, I worked four days! My work load is starting to build back up. This is a good thing both emotionally and financially. While we are not hurting, weeks of a pay that is about a third of what I could be making on disability pension and social security is a bit nasty….but that may be the subject of another post: working being less lucrative than retiring.
When do you decide you could live more comfortably by just hanging it up?
Back to my original point, things picked up this week. Not only did I work four days but I also did some social things. My good friend and her husband got me on the river! I paddled for an hour and nothing bad happened. Nah, hah! Told you so. (Sorry but I hate it when people imply I cannot do something.)
Today I went to a street fair. I ate fresh-cut fries and wandered around for a few hours. Wore my telescopic glasses on my head and brought them down to read signs and see merchandise.
I discovered another reason I should not be walking with them. When I have them on, my field of vision starts about five feet in front of me. I nearly stepped on a couple of small children who had stepped in directly in front of me. Apparently wearing them I have a blind spot at my feet and a couple of feet ahead.
But again I digress. Back on topic!
All told a good week. Accumulating more positives! Right?
Now I suspect there are those of you who will start with the “yes but”. Someone will say “yes, but that was only this week. How can you expect it to last? They won’t take you to the river every week! There won’t be another street fair! Don’t be so positive!”
There is a time in DBT when you are to be unmindful. When things are going well DBT tells us to be unmindful of the fact that it cannot last forever. We are supposed to be unmindful of our unworthiness and how we may have to pay something back later. In other words, we are supposed to forget about the “yes but” that run through our heads. We are supposed to enjoy the good times as they occur.
Yes, but this won’t last forever. Yes, but I am not deserving of the favors people do for me. Yes, but if they do me a favor, I will owe them twice as much later. Really?
The only thing that happens with the “yes but” is you ruin the positive experience you are having now. What is the sense in that?
So, yeah, I had a good week. I was productive. I was social. People were good to me. And if it ends or if I am not worthy or someone expects something in return? Who cares? I had a REALLY good week.