Sandwich generation. We used to hear that a lot. Maybe the term is now passe but it can still be a pertinent concept.
Caregivers are often stuck in between. Many of us have children we still need to do for. Many of us are or have been caregivers for aging parents. Then, add an aging pet or two because, don’t you know, Fluffy and Fido are living well into their golden years and need care, too. It is already enough to spin people in circles!
But then what happens when our spouse, sibling, friend has vision loss and needs our help, too? Then things really get interesting!
We have already talked a bit about what we can do to help caregivers. The more independent we can stay by using devices and supports, the better everyone will be. Also, finding additional people to help with some of our needs and reduce the time demands on our primary caregivers is helpful.
But what else can we do? First of all, we can know the signs of caregiver burnout. WebMD has a list. It includes development of a negative or disinterested attitude and a whole slew of symptoms that many of you will recognize as depression.
Caregiver burnout occurs when they are simply doing too much and taxing their resources. Remember, though, the perception of ‘too much’ is always in the eye of the caregiver.
Just because you and I are superwomen and ‘did it all’ does not mean your caregivers are cut from the same cloth. If they say they are burned out, don’t get judgmental; make some changes.
Which brings me to the list of things that can lead to burnout. In addition to role confusion and lack of control, there are these: unreasonable expectations and unreasonable demands.
Hmmmm…. Now granted, the ‘carer’ can have these, but what about the ‘care -e’? Do we ever have some pretty crazy ideas of what we ‘deserve’? Umm, maybe? Just a little, huh? (My mind flashes back to the van rider who kept us waiting outside the restaurant for half an hour. He was disabled and the consensus was he has a feeling of entitlement because of his disability. Therefore, in my opinion, when your sense of entitlement leads you to disrespect the rights of others? Lose it.)
What to do to avoid caregiver burnout is sort of based on the causes. For example, encourage your caregiver to take time for herself. Help her get additional help, including respite care if needed. Also, don’t forget the “God helps those who help themselves” stuff. Use your technology to reduce your dependence.
Encourage your caregiver to seek outside supports. We have talked about the benefits of kvetching. Education and professional mental health services can be very good for caregivers as well. Encourage them.
There you have it, a nod to all those wonderful people who try to make our getting through the day easier. And the most important word in that last sentence? They are PEOPLE. Treat them that way.
Next: The Winner Is…Genetics!
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