There are days I could cheerfully wring a few people’s necks.
Now, I know nobody else can truly see what I see. I know most people believe my vision is worse than it is, but being told I “can’t” and I “should not” drives me crazy.
There is feeling loved, but there is also feeling limited. Unnaturally so, since I don’t see the limitation as a direct consequence of my low vision. I see other people and their perceptions as being the agents!
Of course, there really is having to be more dependent in certain areas, like transportation, for example. I don’t like it any more than some of the people I am leaning on. I really want to drive again (and someday will, even if it is actually the car doing the driving!) but right now I am stuck. Stuck but needing my routine. I already feel like I am leaning on some others too much; why make me feel even worse? I am doing the best I can!
But there are other people in this picture. There is not only the leaner but the ‘leanee’. People who are thrown into the position of being caregivers (and I use this term loosely since I do not think I or many of you actually need caregiving) are also experiencing significant changes in their lives. There are more demands and changes in their routines. They also have fears about where this may all be going. Maybe they have the right to sometimes get a little testy (but not very often!)
The American Foundation for the Blind published an article including tips for family members of the older, visually impaired folks. I think whoever wrote the article was, at least somewhat, on ‘our’ side. The article talks about the importance of lending both practical and emotional support in order to keep the visually impaired person leading as normal a life as possible. (OK, I saw the ‘n word’. But truly, isn’t ‘normal’ what a person is used to doing and not just a range around a statistical mean?)
One of the points made in the article is a point I made in a page last week: we all are not so much independent as interdependent.
Just because we are visually impaired does not mean we cannot contribute as well as receive. Even visually impaired we can be productive.
So we have reached a compromise for today. My bike and I will get a ride to the other side of the two, main roads I have to cross to get to the Y. After that my trusty Schwinn and I are on our own (coming back I can stay on the right of the second road and use an exit ramp to dump me on the right of the first road. No crossing required….Sounds backwards to you folks in England; doesn’t it? ?) I am using this as a test run. See how I do.
I have a lot more confidence in my mobility this year than I had last. For those of you just embarking on this journey, you really do learn to use residual vision. Give it time.
Right now I have to go find my bike lock. Let you know how I do!?
P.S. maybe the next page I will write from a caregiver perspective…Maybe not ?.