[Lin/Linda: The title is from the 1971 film of the same name by the Monty Python Flying Circus.]
Today is my “odds and ends” day. I don’t work Mondays. Part of the reason for that is so I can have time to dedicate to, well, odds and ends.
Today my husband suggested lunch out. I said Chinese. He said the buffet at the strip mall. Decision made.
In the same strip mall is a well-known, national discount clothing store …oh, ok, it is Marshalls. This Marshalls has been in the same location for at least four years. I realized today I had never been in that store.
No real reason why. Certainly nothing against Marshalls. Before my vision loss I was busy. Since my vision loss I have been dependent on others for my transportation. I do things on the drivers’ schedules. I plan my trips. I know where I am going and what I am doing. Side trips not allowed.
I have said this before but it bears repeating: adventures and spontaneity are not big parts of my existence any more. Not that they were before, of course. I plan. Bless us, but can I plan. However, having the added factors of not wanting to inconvenience others and/or not wanting to miss my ride, even these fifty yard little side trips do not occur any more.
Today I went to Marshalls. I bought five things. No, I do not by any stretch of the imagination need clothes but they were cute. They are also a little different from things I generally buy. Deciding to go into the store, I had decided I needed a little different in my life.
It appears a guy named Ben Fletcher has made a career – or at least part of a career – out of telling people to “do something different”. Posting for psychology today.com (2/15/14) Fletcher reported happy people DO things differently than sad people. Happy is as happy does.
Fletcher quotes Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology as saying, in order to flourish emotionally we need PERMA. Those stand for Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationship, Meaning and a sense of Accomplishment. Fletcher suggested we need GREAT DREAMS.
Now several of those are things we discuss in DBT. You know, acceptance, meaning, exercise. But I want to focus on the T, trying out. Fletcher defines that as trying new things.
Fletcher quoted the results of some of Seligman’s work from 2005. It appears happiness scores went up when people broke old habits and behaved differently. It did not have to be extremely differently. Just enough to shake things up.
I don’t know about you but I don’t get overly excited about going to work. However, I do get excited about a new psychoeducational program we plan to teach. I don’t get excited about an old song we dance to in hip hop, but I get excited about the “impossible” move he expects us to execute in his newest routine. Same with dog walks. I don’t get excited walking the girls to the top of the hill one more time but finding a new place to walk them makes me feel good.
So what can you do to avoid the old ssdd doldrums? You know, the ones you sunk even deeper into when you lost sight. What can you do different? What can you do to feel better?
Written February 11th, 2019
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