Do you remember progress? You know. You start at point A and by the end of the week you are at C and maybe by the end of the month you are at M with a real possibility of getting to Z in the near future. Then you go on to master the next goal. Progress. You remember; don’t you?
When did progress become standing in place? Holding your own?
I had an eye appointment last week. When the good doctor eye-balled my eyeballs, he was pleased. He did not see any obvious deterioration in my condition. Great. I was successful by maintaining status quo.
This morning I went to yoga. I did well those poses I have always done well and truly stank at the poses I have always stunk at. Progress? Not really unless you consider maintenance to be progress.
Then you have those comments suggesting I should not even be maintaining. “I did not realize you were still so active” and “Oh, you’re still working?” What am I supposed to think about those? Am I supposed to be regressing?
This is not the way I have lived my life. There has always been a new mountain to climb and, yes, a new windmill to tilt at. Is that so awful now I am of a “certain age”?
Writing in the June 4, 2014 Atlantic, Linda Fried reported people like Carl Jung and Betty Frieden have seen age as a period of growth and renewal. Fried herself writes that we are a species wired to feel needed, respected and purposeful. I guess that means I am in good company.
Fried also wrote about the research of Becca Levy at Yale. Levy found older adults with a positive attitude towards aging lived an extra 7.5 years as compared to their contemporaries with negative attitudes.
So, seeing purpose and goals is good for us. Also, the simple facts of the matter are life and AMD are degenerative diseases. It takes effort to stay in one place against the tides of chaos and atrophy.
Maybe maintaining the status quo is actually success?
Even if I change my thought process to see lack of slippage – or at least minor slippage – as a positive thing, what am I supposed to do about my need for progress? Goal accomplished. Skill mastered. You know, progress! That feeling of accomplishment, of a job DONE.
The brutal truth is we are not going to “win” this battle against AMD any time soon. I relate to St. Paul (me, relate to a saint???) when he talked about the fight well fought. You fight the fight well even when you are aware you are losing. Still, what does that leave to make progress on?
You chose. How about climbing Kilimanjaro? Anne Lorimor did that this summer. Lorimor is 89. But she did that same climb a few years ago, so maybe that was just maintaining status quo. Hmmm…
Make a soufflé? Learn an instrument? What do you want to be able to say “I did that!” about? Which goals will you be progressing towards? You chose.
Written November 5th, 2019