February 12, 2016, was the day I was officially declared legally blind with dry age-related macular degeneration. In real time that was four years and three days ago. February 12th was a Wednesday this year, a work day. It was literally and figuratively just another day at the office.
Not a day to stay home and pull the covers over my head. Not a day to cry. Just another day. To go about my life, my work, my play.
Perhaps even weirder to some, Lin sent me an email that started out “Happy Anniversary!” Celebrating my vision loss? Should I be offended that she is congratulating me on going centrally blind? Nope. I did not take it that way.
Once again, every cloud has a silver lining. Every challenge contains within itself the opportunity to surmount it. To adapt. To change. To grow.
I took the “happy anniversary!” as an acknowledgment of my successes, her successes and yes, your successes as well.
We’re going on a bear hunt. Can’t go over it. Can’t go under it. Can’t go around it. Gotta go through it.
Slogging through swamps? Check! Climbing mountains? Check! Stumbling through pitch-black caves? Check!!! Metaphorically speaking, we are doing it all and coming out the other side only slightly the worse for wear. That deserves to be celebrated!
I have been told I am an inspiration, a role model, etc. Piffle! I am a stubborn, somewhat entitled only child who does not want the fun to end. There is no way age-related macular degeneration is going to ruin the party.
So, I move forward. I accept. I adapt. I find another way. I fall flat on my face, laugh, pick myself up and go on…look out! Don’t fall over that! You are right behind me…or maybe you are ahead; aren’t you?
Either way, we are on this journey together.
Sometimes we lead. Sometimes we follow. Sometimes we are carried and sometimes we carry others. Just the same, we are moving forward and that is something to celebrate.
Some people do not feel I am on the same journey that they are. In the past four years (and three days!) I have gotten pretty far down the road. Some people don’t see themselves as ever being where I am now. They don’t believe I remember the beginning of the journey.
To the question about my remembering: yes, I remember, but it is not a traumatic memory. In psych speak, I have integrated it into my personal narrative. It no longer contains the pain it did.
To the question – implied – if you can get where I am now, I would say “Yes”. Many of you can. If you cannot find anything you need from me, lean on other group members. Ask them for guidance. Forge your own path. Just keep on moving forward.
So, there you are. Happy anniversary! Celebrate your successes. Remember how far you have come. Success is possible.
Written February 16th, 2020.