Hello, there once again! How y’all doin’. Today was “interesting”. Somewhere in India our server [not for the website] went down. Yes, we send all of our data to India. Anyway, no server meant no place to take notes, no way to schedule clients and no way to know our schedules! I had a “mystery guest” checking in every hour! “Mystery guest, enter and sign in please!” Who remembers What’s My Line?
Of course, since I had only a way to take paper notes, everything will have to be put into the cloud…but not tonight. Tonight I get to talk at you.
Lin told me she posted some questions about “coming out” of the visually impaired “closet”. She put a video by Fern, a motivational speaker, along with them. Some of the questions concerned whom you may have told and why you may not have told. Fern talks about embarrassment and shame and the judgments and misunderstanding that may have engendered those feelings.
I assume Fern was a child with visual impairment. I assume she had some tough, social interactions growing up. Kids can be crazy cruel. Trying to navigate the ups and downs of elementary school – not to mention middle and high school! – can be tough on a kid who is different.
I was researching relationship repair DBT style and found DBT Relationship Recovery 101. The second bullet caught me. It said “Work on your sense of self- worth”. Wow. A strong sense of your own self-worth allows you to let judgments and insults just roll off your back. In other words, “Who are you and what the hell do you know about me? I know who I am.”
A bit ago I had someone get angry with me and tell me she wanted nothing to do with me. Ouch. I fretted about it way longer than I should have. Then I got into wise mind and had an epiphany: for all my (many) faults, I ain’t all that bad! Her loss!…and yes, every once in a while if I do something cool like going to Summer Academy I think “Not worth knowing; huh?”
And a couple of those faults? I am not above being petty and gloating…I might actually have to work on those…later. ?
Remember I mentioned one of my yoga instructors has a visually impaired child? She is 5 now. One of the reasons I would like to still be working in school this year would be to watch this little dolly take kindergarten by storm. According to her mother, our little girl walked up to the special education supervisor and announced herself with “Hi! I’m new here.” I do believe she has enough moxie for three kids and I, for one, am glad she does.
That is a five-year-old. She seems to have been born with tremendous strength of character. (She flushed about three pairs of glasses down the toilet. She was NOT wearing them. At that point I think she was 3). But what about us? I would contend most of us who have come to visual impairment later in life have track records of competence. We have mastered all manner of things.
“Who are you and what the hell do you know about me? I know who I am.”
Remind yourself you have been there, done that and have the T-shirt – with “winner” printed on it – to prove it. No one gets to judge you. You know who you are.
Written August 16th, 2018