I Passed My Poop Test!

Hey, guess what! I passed my poop test! You know what I am talking about. They advertise on TV as a screening for colon cancer. You poop in a box and send it to Wisconsin.

I did it just fine last year. No problems. This year I had two failed attempts before my offering was accepted. My husband told me I obviously don’t know sh** but I don’t think that was it at all. I did not read the directions.

I admit it. My CCTV magnifier was in the sunroom on the first floor. I was in the second floor bathroom with my “poop in the box” kit. I did it last year. What could go wrong?

The first time they called to tell me I did not have to put preservative in the little test tube thingie. The second time I had not put all of the preservative on the sample. The third time was the charm. I passed my poop test!

I am imagining many of you have problems with written directions. I could have had enough forethought to look at the directions before retiring to the powder room. Maybe. That generally does not happen. I could have used Be My Eyes, but I would have felt it inappropriate to be calling from the toilet. After all, they do use the camera in the phone. I could have had my husband read the directions to me only I am not sure where he was at those times.

I had him read the paperwork for my second COVID vaccination yesterday. Probably should have figured out a way to get him to have the side effects, too! Just love those fever and chills; not!

So, options when you are not able to read directions:

  • Take you magnifier with you.
  • Either that or look at the directions prior to doing the procedure.
  • Ask a lovely volunteer at BeMyEyes to read the directions. Just be sure not to embarrass her or you by what else she might see!
  • Call the company – like the poop in the box, folks – and ask them to review the instructions with you.
  • Or, ask a spouse or family member to read the directions to you.
  • A higher tech option would be to take a picture with you KNFB reader and let the program read to you.

There are a variety of ways to avoid failing your poop test. Hope these were helpful!

Written March   2021

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