Three years ago June my life changed. I did not know it then. I almost ignored the first sign of trouble. I had a blind spot in my left eye. How bad could it possibly be?
The reaction from the people at the hospital was a little disturbing. “Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!” Don’t ignore this! Don’t mess with this!
Hey, it’s a little blind spot, for crying out loud. I have another eye. Don’t make such a big deal of this.
If I had known then where I was heading? Not sure really. If I had been able to fast forward to the following January, I would have been devastated. I “lost” my second eye at the end of that month. I lost my ability to drive. I almost lost my career and I lost a good part of life as I knew it.
If I could have fast forwarded to now? The outlook would have been less bleak. I have been working hard on “me” recovery. I have been working hard on mastering my second career – something even a blind woman can do, psychotherapy. My disability is actually a benefit because no one can say I have not had losses and challenges!
I have also been working hard on getting back to things I love. I went skiing last year and am already scheming how to get again this year. I went rafting last weekend. I am seriously looking at a bus trip into New York City. Where there is a will, there is a way.
And what about next year or the year after? No clue. I am well aware my condition is progressing at an “average” rate; whatever the hell that means. I may be unable to do what I do now. Adapting may be harder and things I include in the definition of “me” may become impossible.
One thing I do know: adapt I will. It may not be great but it will be tolerable. Grow. Adapt. Change. Endure. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Written September 5th, 2018