Today was a good day/bad day.
Good is the oppressive heat broke. I could walk the dogs again. Of course, Maggie thinks she is a bad*** but only ever proves herself to be a dumb***. She was getting very mouthy with a dog four times her size. Thank goodness he had restraint. Even if there were an invisible fence, it would have been no deterrent to him had he wanted to come out. Maggie Puppygirl tartar!
The other good thing today was my CCTV got shipped from the repair shop. Winging its way home even as we speak! It “only” cost me slightly more than $200 to get it out of hock.
I guess the lesson here is something like this: not only are these things expensive to buy, they are expensive to maintain. That seems to be particularly true if you are someone like me who hauls the thing all over God’s little green acre.
I guess the last good thing was a good day at work. I am starting to feel like I have my feet under me with the different responsibilities I now have. Maybe. Whenever I feel confident, the Universe tends to show me who is boss. A perverse sense of humor, that Universe.
But, you know the little story about pessimism and optimism? There was a kid who got a king’s ransom in toys but was sad because they would break when he played with them.
His brother was given a pile of manure. The brother broke into a wide grin and started to shovel through the pile. Asked why the brother replied, “With all this manure, there has to be a pony here somewhere!”
It is referred to as the Reagan joke. You can look it up.
Anyway, I am choosing to be the optimistic even though I found out today that I most likely – most very likely – will not qualify for the stem cell study I have been waiting for. Why? My vision is too good.
Now, not having 20/800 vision to be in the one group is a very good thing. Not qualifying for the second group is good, too. (However, I must wonder if the people they are inviting actually have worse damage than I have or just don’t use strategies like eccentric viewing).
It all comes down to waiting longer. My name is in. I have a contact who I believe knows I am smart and deadly serious. She might even like me a little bit?. This is going to have to be good enough for now. Acceptance of what cannot be changed. Wisdom to know the difference.
Being the kid who shoveled the manure so gleefully, I have to believe there is something better in store for me. In the two years I have been looking at clinical studies, the progress has been mind-boggling. Take the prize I can see, or what is behind the curtain? Let’s Make a Deal!
Maybe what is behind the curtain will be better. Considering I was outbid on this prize package that has to be my choice. And who knows, it might be that pony!
PS I have the patient consent packet for this study. I will study it and report. I am terminally curious. Something else that gets me into trouble, my dears.?
[To read more about the Astrellas study she’s referring to, read Sue’s page The Waiting Game.]
Written July 6th, 2018