Good morning! Friday morning in State College. Summer Academy Career Day was yesterday and this morning I bus home.
The ride down was delayed. We were in a traffic jam right outside of town for an hour.
The driver was nice. I really did not know what to do about when to load, etc., so I stood right next to him for a few minutes. I felt compelled to explain I am visually impaired and not at all used to buses. I knew not one thing about this stuff. It launched me into a mini, mental pity party for myself.
You know the routine. I was competent and independent and now…not as much. What the hey am I doing riding a bus?!!?
I met a totally blind woman at Summer Academy. When I said I got here by bus, she told me a story of how she cried the only time she ever rode a bus. She was afraid and the people were “nasty.”
We all have our stories. In the end, you pay your money and you take your choice. Participate with all the little indignities or stay home…. Hey, I’m here; aren’t I?
Kids were great as was the staff. Some were wonderfully intelligent and insightful. Somehow I got into a conversation about whether a boy blind from birth would ever choose to see and if I – visually impaired for a couple of years – would want what I have lost restored. My answer was a resounding “yes!” His answer was negative. He sees meaning in his blindness. Deeply religious, he believes he is showing people how one can thrive in adversity by having a relationship with Christ.
Another young man is a running back with a football team. I asked how he, with only light perception, could discern the holes in the other team’s defensive line. He said his teammates yell at him or he just runs into the other line and bounces off. That works too; I guess.
In short, where there is a will, there is a way. The adaptability of the human spirit is amazing.
The kids also did amazing things while they were here, too. They had totally blind kids – no light perception, no nothing – on a climbing wall. They had them on the high ropes and in kayaks. It appears to me they faced fears daily. I cannot imagine being that courageous.
I keep trying to get them to sponsor a camp for us visually impaired “big kids.” As of now, I have not been able to generate a great deal of interest. I would love to be able to go someplace and have all sorts of “adventures” lined up for me.
Last winter I managed to get skiing one time. This summer I have decided to try and add back whitewater rafting. The local college has an outdoor education program and I have signed up for their rafting trip.
I am going to be the only one over about 23 on the trip. I feel weird about it. Preconceived notions and prejudices against age and handicaps are everywhere. Including my own head.
My choices are, once again, simple. To borrow from Dylan Thomas, do I go gently into that good night or do I rage?
What is your choice?
Written August 2nd, 2018