(Just as I am whining and moaning about running out of ideas for more pages, another thought hits me. What can I say? I’m impossible! But we really would love to hear from you anyway! Volunteer to do a couple of pages before I write again!) [Lin/Linda: PLEASE!!! She’s driving me crazy with the “I’m running out of pages, what can I write about?”! ::grin::]
Happy Tuesday! Today was a snow day without snow. School was cancelled in response to all these warnings and nothing happened. Pooh. It was rather anticlimactic. I was hoping to cross-country ski.
Cross country skiing would be another topic but right now I want to talk about my day. It flew! We took the recycling to the center and then I went to the camera shop where my expert and I picked out some photos to print. The contest is not until the fall but I have gotten into the ‘do it now’ philosophy of life. I had the opportunity and resources to do it today so I did it.
Not being sure how well you will be able to see in six months or so can give you the impetus to get things done and live a little more fully.
Then we went to the Chinese buffet where I had chicken and broccoli and pepper steak. Antioxidants are in those veggies. Good for what ails me.
Then home to get the Beastie Baby for her walk and home again to get a few other things done. Did a little work around the house, started a home study for continuing education hours and reviewed my lesson for tomorrow.
And my lesson is the topic I want to hit here. It will be on justified and unjustified emotions. Although I don’t like to use the word, justified emotions are what we ‘should’ feel. If something bad happens you are justified in feeling sad. If you win a prize, you are justified in being proud. The feeling matches the circumstances.
The problem is many of us – heck, most of us! – experience a lot of unjustified emotions. The big one is guilt. I would suspect you have been experiencing unjustified guilt more since your vision went bad. Guilt you cannot do your share of driving. Guilt you have to ask for help. Guilt you had to quit working.
Where does this come from? You – and I, too- ‘should on’ ourselves much more than is healthy for us. I ‘should’ carry my share. I ‘should’ be independent. I ‘should’ contribute.
Great values but unrealistic. The fact the thoughts don’t match the circumstances is what makes the emotion unjustified. It does not make sense to feel guilty about not doing something you are not capable of doing.
When you feel an emotion such as guilt sometimes it is good to investigate. DBT suggests you look at the situation, not your interpretation of the situation. “Mary is driving us to the store.” Not “It is awful I am imposing on Mary to take us to the store.” Be sure to include all of the facts. Remember all of the facts includes your vision problems. Once you look at the facts without judgments it should be a little easier to let go of some of that guilt.