I have been at “loose ends” all day today. Alright, maybe not ALL day but definitely this afternoon. This morning I got a haircut and went grocery shopping. I also went looking for shoes. The puppygirls ate one shoe each from TWO – count them 2! – pairs yesterday, and I was hoping to replace them with similar items. No joy. Nothing looked even vaguely like what I wanted.
I came home and went online. I found one pair that would fit the bill. Sort of. If Amazon does not have it, I don’t think you can get it anywhere. Bless them.
Anyway, trying to figure out why I am so discontent and cranky today. I know I am tired. I did a ten-mile paddle yesterday. That was a bit much. (Being tired is a vulnerability factor for negative emotions; ya know.) I did not get into the study I was interested in. I did not see a single pair of shoes that interested me.
The last two add up to frustration and disappointment. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck; right? There is probably a good chance this mood is the result of frustration and disappointment. And overdoing it yesterday.
Well, I am going to “treat” my fatigue to a little “hair of the dog”. I have a ride to hip-hop, and I am going to exercise more by dancing. That is opposite to emotion in DBT speak. If you don’t like your emotion, change it! I am down and dancing always brings me up.
That should work some on the frustration and disappointment, too. The joy I can feel when I dance is opposite to those emotions as well.
What else can I do? Well, Zen Habits suggest a lot of stuff that sounds like what DBT teaches. Not surprising since DBT has roots in Buddhism.
For one thing, have compassion for myself. Frustration and disappointment are part of the human condition, and I – in spite of what some people may think! – am human. I am just participating in humanity. And if I were another human, would I not give him compassion?
Then there is allowing the feelings to be. They are legitimate. Let them play out to the end. Emotions have short lives and unless I retrigger them, they will be here for a while and die a natural death. Being afraid of emotions and avoiding them only causes more problems.
Zen Habits has more but I want to pick out the mindfulness one next. Truly, how much different am I today than I was yesterday? Or this minute from last minute? My health is still good. I have a purpose. There are kind souls who care and take care of me every day. Not getting into the study or finding a pair of blue sandals did not change that. Right now in this instant, I am fine. I am fine in this instant and this one. Etcetera, etcetera…
The last thing they suggest is being curious about what actually IS coming down the road for me. I ordered shoes online. Maybe they will be real “finds.” The perfect shoes for me. I was promised there are other studies coming. Anyone interested in finding out what they are? Maybe one of them will be exactly what I am looking for. You never know.