The combination of puppies, visually handicapped 64 year ‘young’ me and electric appliances is not going well this week. My watch got (four!) legs and walked. I managed to ‘kill’ the first floor vacuum and seriously ‘wound’ the second floor vacuum. Puppies leave things on the living room floor that I don’t recognize until it is too late. Apparently the little darlings play with things that should not be in the diet of a vacuum cleaner!
Not sure how to solve that problem. Probably just wait for the puppies to grow up. Heaven forbid that I should actually get on my hands and knees and pick everything up!
Last night our local telephone and internet providers had a few problems of their own. Of course, with all of my devices non-operational, I had no way of knowing it was their problem and not my problem. I assumed it was my fault and spent quite a bit of time trying to track down what I had done wrong.
I was not the only one. Talking to one of my gym rat friends this morning I discovered she had had the same concerns. She was convinced it was all her fault too!
Then to top things off, I had a client yesterday who blamed himself for the poor adjustment of everyone else in the family. Self-blaming appears to be rearing its head all over these days.
Never one to miss an opportunity for a page, I looked self-blame up on Wikipedia. It appears there are several theories that link self-blame and depression. There is also some indication that self-blame can have a negative effect on how you adapt.
Of course, then I thought about all you fine folks who may actually believe you have caused your vision loss. Those who play the “if only” and “I wish I had” game.
Sometime in your life, I assume you have heard the saying “hindsight is 20/20.” There is no way you can predict and prevent everything that may happen to you. It truly is what it is. We do the best with what we have. We have no way of truly knowing the future. We make the best decisions we can with the information available.
And something I often say to client: do you really believe you are so omnipotent that you can control everything that happens and the way that everyone feels? If you are truly that wonderful, I would like a few stock tips or at least some idea who was going to come in first at the local race track! If we try a little argumentum ad absurdum we can really spin this. Assume that you are omnipotent and in charge of everything? Perhaps you are a deity! ?
In short, blaming yourself for what has happened to your eyes is nonsensical. Do we all have bad habits? Absolutely! Have I told you about my diet? But I also watch my weight and exercise. Those are supposed to be good preventative factors; yes? What happened?!?!
Unfortunately, I have all sorts of static variables that give me a predisposition to AMD. Not much I can do about it. It is what it is. Not my fault. Not your fault. In the end, it just is.
Written March 3rd, 2018